Christmas is next week. I am SO excited. I cannot wait!
I love Christmas. I find it’s a really wonderful time of year and my favorite thing to do is hang out with my family, friends and loved ones to catch up on what’s been happening….and generally have a bit of downtime and slow time to just be.
Now I know for some people the holidays can actually bring about completely the opposite feeling. It can be triggering. It can be stressful. It can be emotional.
For some people meeting up with family can be a big drama that you just don’t want to deal with after a long year.
For some people, this time of year can bring about bouts of jealousy….which is perfectly normal because everyone’s posting all the amazing things they’re doing on Instagram and Facebook.
Going on a ski holiday somewhere you would really want to go…..
Or perhaps somebody sent you the perfect family photo Christmas card in the post and you’re longing for a family (heck even a partner would be nice)…
Or maybe you have a friend who actually stuck to her New Year’s resolution of getting healthy and whilst you vowed you would do the same you’re still hating on your muffin top….
Being jealous is perfectly normal this time of year….
Watch this week’s video blog to learn how you can turn jealousy into fuel to actually get what you really really want.
Short on time? Read on for the transcript.
The truth is that when we get triggered by other people that’s because they have something that we secretly or not-so-secretly want for ourselves.
The thing is jealousy or envy can have a very negative connotation to it.
We don’t want to admit that we’re jealous.
But the truth is we are comparison seeking individuals and it’s 100% natural to compare ourselves to others. It’s what we do, particularly as women.
I hate to say it but we’re more prone to comparisonitis.
So rather than beat yourself up over feeling like you’re comparing yourself and getting jealous – accept that it’s human nature and use it for good instead.
Use it as fuel to boost you up and say “Fantastic that person is showing me what’s available to me and that I want that for myself.”
The beautiful purpose of jealousy is to help show you two things:
Thing #1: There’s a hidden (or not so hidden) desire in you
Perhaps you haven’t given space to give life to your real desire or you don’t have any real knowledge of what it is that you want. The other person you are jealous of is simply highlighting what it is that you desire.
Thing #2: That what you want is available for you too
If someone else has something whether it’s a physical thing, a milestone, a way of being, a relationship, health, spirituality etc. I wholeheartedly believe that it’s available to you too. Sometimes seeing someone have more than what we thought of for ourselves can expand our horizons and get us thinking bigger.
I truly believe that the people in our lives are mirrors and that they are here to show us and teach us lots of things.
Since going on this entrepreneurial journey there have been many people in my peer group who’ve done really well….off-the-charts “well” and I’ll admit sometimes I get a little bit jealous….
Whilst I’ve had other things going on (like having babies which I’m super grateful for) at times I can find myself getting a little bit jealous but which I hate to admit – but it’s true.
When I get jealous, what I’ve found really works is to…
Step #1: Acknowledge the fact that I’m jealous
This is liberating. When I tell myself that it’s okay and perfectly normal and perfectly human I can stop beating myself up.
Step #2: Get clear on what I’m jealous about
I look at the other person as a mirror to show me that I too want the business success, to write a book, launch a podcast etc. I acknowledge that the other person is mirroring a desire within me and I can thank them for showing me.
Step #3: Go deeper to ask is it something I really do want
Once I’ve identified what I’m jealous about I ask myself:
Is it truly something I want?
Is this something that I want to work on right now or am I going to you put that on the back burner or drop it altogether?
Getting to the heart of why and what I want is really important.
So that’s what I invite you to do over this holiday period.
If you find yourself getting triggered or really jealous or envious of someone….thank that person for showing you that there’s something in there for you to see.
Thank them for showing that what they have is available to you too.
I hope you enjoyed this episode.
Please leave me a comment and let me know:
What do you do to turn your jealousy around?
I’d love to learn from you too!
Have a great few days in the lead up to the holidays!