A while back, I was speaking to a friend’s sister. She had two job offers that she was tossing between.
One with a reputable international company. Another with a local company.
She asked me “What job should I take?”
As she explained her options, I naturally had my perceptions around what I would choose for myself but I bit my tongue in sharing because I knew that my answer wouldn’t have been right for her.
So I asked her “What do you think? What do you feel? Where do you think YOU’LL thrive?”
She stood back and went quiet…..
“You know what that’s a really good question. I don’t know.”
In her mind she hadn’t stop to question where she fit in, she just thought that she had to go for the international company because it was a bigger name, more reputable.
But when she thought about it more deeply, the smaller local company was going to be a better fit.
This is the thing about asking people for advice…they’ll tell you what they think is right based on their own parameters for success.
It would have been easy for me to say “go with the international company. It’s a bigger company.”
But is that true? Is bigger always better?
The truth is, I don’t know:
- What package she was offered for both those options
- I don’t know who her boss is going to be
- What support she’s going to get at each firm
- The details of the role she’s going for
Without that information (which she herself has) I’m quite frankly not the person to tell her what to do.
This is what happens when we go to other people for career advice (or life advice in general)….
Other people don’t know the day to day, ins and outs of what you’re going through in your career and what’s important.
….go to the bathroom crying because you can’t deal with a certain person at work.
…or you’re crumbling under the stress.
…wake up in the middle of the night with heart palpitations because you feel you have to check your work emails at 2am.
If you have to make a decision about your career and are considering getting advice, don’t give away your power to other people when it comes to making important choices about your career.
Read on or listen in to uncover how to get back into the driving seat so you can make smart decisions that are right for you.
Not in a place where you can watch the video? Read on for the transcript:
You are your best expert.
You know you best.
You know what’s best for you.
Whilst there’s a time and a place for asking people for feedback and input….you’ve got to be in the driving seat first and foremost.
Other people don’t know what you’re going through.
If you’re facing a choice point in your career and you’re not sure where to go, step back into yourself.
Drop this question into the body:
“What do I need to know to make a decision here?”
For some of you, you have to process the decision intellectually. Making pros and cons list.
And this has been my default mode, before I discovered feminine embodiment tools….
What I’ve come to realise is that listening to your heart, intuition and body is just as important to — and works beyond logic.
When I got a job offer to work at an Investment bank in a regional role, I rationalised in my head that it was the right thing to do. I did the pros and cons list, I did the intellectualisation….
…..Yet deep down something in my gut didn’t quite sit right.
Ultimately I choose to squash that “not quite right” feeling down because my rational mind said that I’d be crazy to pass up the job. People in my life agreed I was making the right choice to go ahead and take it.
I wish that at that point, I’d stopped to assess what I wanted and what was important to ME in that point of my life and career rather than running away with the “should’s”…..
When you’re at a choice point in your career, don’t give your power away.
Here’s what to do:
#1: Step back and get clear on what you need to know to make a decision.
Is it to get more information on the expected outcomes of the role?
Is it to have more more balance and flexibility for this stage of your career?
Do you really desire opportunities for growth?
What is it for you?
What are your parameters for making an informed decision.
#2: Then ask the right people for the right advice and input.
Be selective in terms of who you ask for their input and don’t expect them to make the decision for you even if they’re more senior, have more experience or just plain wise.
Have the conversation by all means ask their opinion but share the factors that are important to you (from step #1) and ask them to share what they feel is right based on what you’ve shared, and they know of you.
Maybe it is a senior leader, head of a team or future potential client — sometimes getting feedback is great because we can’t see our blind spots and the right person can help unlock something we didn’t originally see.
But make sure you ask the right person!
Remember there’s no one in the world who can do what you do the way you do it. You’re here for a reason. Don’t ever forget it.