We live in a world that is pretty transparent.
With technology and social media it can be way easier to get more of an insight into others lives.
This can be detrimental sometimes.
We think that everyone is happy. We think everyone is on holiday having the time of their lives. We think others relationships and careers are blooming.
The truth is — we don’t know what’s going on behind closed doors.
This social media trend that isn’t going away….so it’s important to be mindful of managing ourselves so we don’t fall into this trap of comparison syndrome.
If you find yourself feeling anxious (or in some cases depressed) after being on social media I want you to know that first and foremost, having darker emotions is perfectly OK.
Being sad is part of the human experience.
This is the part of living wholeheartedly.
Life isn’t supposed to always be happy. We need both the light and the dark.
We need the dark to appreciate the light.
The dark helps you get back on track.
I was really depressed when I was in my corporate job and if I didn’t get to that state, I wouldn’t have had that kick up the butt do go and do something about it.
Without the negative emotions I would have continued trundling along.
Don’t be afraid of these emotions.
Important Note: If you feel that your darker emotions are really serious – then please go and seek professional help and have that support to guide you through that. This is important.
Not in a place where you can watch the video? Read on for the transcript:
I believe that other than social media, one of the reasons why we are so depressed is because of the way we ourselves speak to ourselves.
We can be so harsh. We can be so critical. We can be so mean. We say things to ourselves that we wouldn’t dream of saying to a best friend.
When you find yourself feeling anxious or depressed stop and ask yourself:
What are you thinking? What are the words that you’re using?
For example, when you make a mistake…
Do you tell yourself that you’re an idiot and that you never get anything right?
When you say the wrong thing to a friend…
Do you tell yourself you’re completely unlovable and that you don’t deserve friends like yours?
Catch yourself…would you speak to a friend, child or anyone else like this?
If not, that’s a good thing. Don’t beat yourself up over it.
You’ve caught yourself which is a huge step. The first step is awareness.
When you have negative thoughts, switch it around to make it less severe.
Carol Dweck who wrote “Mindset: The Psychology of Success” is a Stanford professor and talks about the way people see things and the words they use. She talks about a growth vs. fixed mindset. I believe this correlates to successful people too as successful people all have a growth mindset.
When successful people make a mistake they don’t use such harsh criticism towards themselves.
When they make a success they don’t tell themselves they’re an idiot that doesn’t get anything right instead they ask what they can learn from the mistake and make a commitment to themselves to do better next time.
Can you see how it has a very different feel and energy about it?
It releases the pressure of your shoulders too – you don’t have to get everything right and exactly perfect.
Every step on your journey doesn’t have to beautiful like the most perfect instagram feed.
It can be ugly, it can be messy, you can ugly cry on the couch, that’s perfectly OK.
Those are my two pieces of advice for you today:
#1: It’s OK to feel your emotions – good and bad
#2: Catch yourself with the words you’re using to yourself — be kind
Keep going after that career dream of yours.
When you start to speak nicely to yourself and show up with positivity and with love and compassion people will feel that and you’ll call more of those people into your life. Most importantly – you’ll be happier in your own skin.
Have a beautiful week and give it a try!