This time last year I gave birth to my son.
It was one of the most empowering experiences I could ever have hoped for.
I have to be honest though….
I’ve been scared of childbirth since I was a child.
I remember showing up to science class one day as a little girl and learning about the process of how to make a baby.
I learned about the pain involved with giving birth to a child and I remember being terrified.
I felt completely conflicted.
In my heart of hearts I knew that I wanted to be a mother. I knew that one day that would be my destiny no matter what happened.
Yet at the same time I was terrified of actually giving birth!
Growing up, the belief that it was painful to have a baby was only reinforced through movies.
You know the ones, right?
You see women being rushed around stressed out screaming at their partners saying “get this baby out!”
But fast forward to my son’s birthday it was the most magical experience.
No drugs. No intervention. A mostly intimate experience for my husband and I bringing our child to the world.
I attribute that experience to a calm birthing course that I did with my husband.
Side note: If any of you are pregnant or thinking of having a baby then I highly recommend this program. There are practitioners all over the world so definitely look it up in your city!
The course guided me on how to flip my mindset around fear in general.
This lesson continues to apply to every area of my life including my career and today I want to share that with you so that you can overcome your fears and go out there and pursue that career calling of yours and show up fully doing the work you’re meant to do.
You may be wondering….what does overcoming my fear of childbirth have to do with my fears in life in general?
Well, I believe that how you do one thing is how you do everything.
I’m so grateful for the Calm Birthing program and to Kathy who taught us.
What the program taught me is that fear is something that we perceive ourselves.
We project fear onto a situation. The situation itself is not the scary bit.
The calm birthing methodology dates back hundreds of years ago when he observed that some women had really pleasurable birth experiences, they were smiling, they had fun, it wasn’t painful – they enjoyed it.
These women didn’t think it had to be painful.
I remember one story where the doctor commented that the woman didn’t find the birth painful.
She turned to the doctor and asked “should it have been?” with a puzzled face.
I think that’s so true of our life and careers.
We’re taught that a career has to be hard.
We have to put our nose to the grindstone.
Climb your way up the corporate ladder.
There’s a lot of forcing.
There’s an energy and belief that you have to compete and get your elbows out to get a spot at the top. It’s a scramble. You’re pitted against someone else. There’s a lot of competition going on.
We enter this fear state.
We believe that’s the perception of how life and career should be.
The truth is it’s a false perception.
We get to interpret the meaning of the life around us.
For me in my birthing story, I had the perception that child birth had to be painful and excruciating and exhausting.
Sidenote: Childbirth does take work I’m not going to lie but it doesn’t have to be as bad as they make it out to be in the movies.
But for my first two pregnancies my perception of how it “should be” manifested as painful, hard and tough.
I thought childbirth was going to be hard – so I made choices based on those assumptions.
The beauty of having a 3rd child and being able to do this experience the right way was that I got to let go of the false perceptions and trust my body.
This is the thing….
There is a divine intelligence within you that knows how to take that egg and sperm into an embryo — into a baby — into an adult being who you are today.
That divine intelligence is within you.
It’s the same intelligence that’s:
….within the acorn that knows how to turn into an oak tree.
…within a caterpillar that turns into a butterfly.
It’s that programming that’s all around is.
What happens in society is that we stop trusting that divine intelligence.
We stop trusting that unfolding.
So we look to gurus, expert and other people in general to tell us what we SHOULD do.
That’s so wrong.
Whilst I support people in their careers, I don’t proclaim to be a guru, I help you uncover the truth of what matters to you and making the right choices by you.
It’s time to go back to that which is within you.
In this calm birthing experience I got to smash that fear that childbirth had to be painful and have it be one of the highlights of my life.
I gave birth to a 10 pound baby at the end of the day. No drugs. All natural.
If I’d have known he was 10 pounds before I gave birth I would have freaked out, I would have shut down, I would have said I can’t do it.
When you put those limits on.
When you know too much.
When you plan too much.
It can sometimes be a detriment to you getting going and getting yourself out there.
It’s a bit like the Harrison Ford movie Indiana Jones where you have to take a step and the next step and the bridge appears.
The divine intelligence is within you and you’ve got to trust enough to take the first step.
Know that fear is going to pop up trying to keep you safe.
We still have a primitive brain and have the tribal mentality where we don’t want to get cast out of a tribe and left alone to fend for ourselves.
We want to stay within the tribe.
It doesn’t help us do the work we want to do.
One of the other scary fears I’ve had to face is leaving my corporate job to start my own business.
I was really worried about failing and then having to crawl back to corporate with my tail between my legs saying “I failed. I made a mistake. Can I have my job back?”
What I’ve found is that by listening to that inner voice. The size of a little mustard seed, that said I wasn’t in the right place has led me down a path where I’ve met people who are beautiful.
People who are way more like-minded that I could have imagined. Women who have opened my eyes up to a different world and helped me come back to more of who I am.
If you’re facing fear in your life and your career, it’s time to look at it square in the face.
Step 1: Awareness
Get clear on what beliefs are running the show by writing down some of those assumptions you’re making.
Do you believe you have to work hard to make money?
Do you believe you have to sacrifice your health, your happiness in order to have a great career?
Get clear on those beliefs that you have about success.
Step 2: Prioritise your top 3
Let’s not get overwhelmed. Get clear on the biggest buttons for you.
Step 3: Disprove those beliefs.
Come up with an argument against them.
For example, if you believe you have to work hard to make money. Look for evidence to disprove that theory.
You could name 3 people who have been successful without having to work hard.
By doing this you’re turning the frequency of your brain to another more empowering way of being.
We’ve been programmed to believe things are hard so it take a little conscious effort to begin with to break down this belief.
Going back to childbirth….typical thoughts are that it’s painful, hard, gotta have a C-section.
If you believe that to be a case that’s what you’re going to manifest.
When you challenge some of those assumptions and beliefs and remove those blinders and make choices for your and set your own parameters then you’re going to see that in the world.
Maybe this sounds out there but trust me this is the case.
Experiment. Give that a go.
Leave a comment below.
What are some of the limiting beliefs that are holding you back?
If you have a particular challenge leave a comment and I’ll support you there.
Working with your fear so that you can get your falling out is a service to you and to others as well.