I was going through my inbox the other day and saw an email that read “how to find your purpose.”
As my eyes scanned the title, my mind and body went through a rollercoaster ride of feelings, emotions, and thoughts. Which went a little something like this….
Feeling: Hot in my chest and up my neck.
Thought: Purpose isn’t something that you “find” externally …it’s inherent and within you. This language is misleading.
Feeling: Lump in throat.
Thought: Maybe I’m being too harsh and pedantic about words. Maybe there’s something to learn here. Good on this person for sharing their perspective and point of view.
Feeling: Tension in shoulders.
Thought: I should be saying more about this topic myself instead of being negative towards others. It’s time for me to speak up more and express my point of view.
All of the above happened in the 5 seconds it took me to click through and read the email.
Oftentimes little events (like me receiving this seemingly innocent email) will happen during the course of our day. And we won’t even realize the feeling-emotion-thought cycle that ensues….and can tip us into a funk or mood.
You know when this is going on when you:
…. unexplainably snap at your kid, partner or colleague.
….reach for that “treat” to make yourself feel better even though you’re not craving it.
….ditch the gym, yoga or pilates class to tune out to Netflix instead so that you can just avoid feeling. Period.
The truth is we all have a “feeling-emotion-thought” cycle that we complete several times throughout the course of our day.
These cycles can be triggered by seemingly small or insignificant events, people and circumstances. Often our subconscious is running this cycle without us even realizing what’s going on.
These cycles — which can send us both into a positive and negative spiral, don’t make us broken. They make us human.
And I believe they’re the path back home to who you REALLY are and thus the gateway to accessing your purpose.
These feelings, emotions, and thoughts are simply something to be witnessed and moved through so that you can restore back to flow.
If you’re finding yourself searching….to find your purpose, your voice, your [whateveryourlookingfor] and feel that you’re getting triggered in the day to day of life, then listen or read on.
Short on time? Read on for the transcript.
My philosophy around your unique purpose is that it’s not something that you have to go and find.
It’s not something external.
It’s not fulfilled when you become “something” or “someone” like:
- A successful entrepreneur
- A wife
- A mother
- A C-Suite executive or senior manager
- Or you’re earning a certain amount of money
Becoming these titles is not what’s going to make you feel purposeful or give you your sense of purpose…
Not unless these titles or roles are genuine expressions of who you REALLY are or desire to be.
YOU yourself are the purpose of your life.
And when I say you, I mean the REAL you.
Your purpose is to:
- Express your inherent gifts and talents with the world.
- Enjoy the simple pleasures of life and the fact that you have a human body.
- To dance the paradox of the fact that you are whole and perfect as you are in this moment, as well as here to learn to grow and evolve.
In essence, your purpose is to BE the person you REALLY are before the world told you who you “should” be.
So if you’re looking to find your purpose outside of you, I lovingly invite you to turn inwards.
This journey to uncovering your purpose is about:
- Unraveling your unique gifts and talents
- Increasing your capacity to receive pleasure and joy
- Learning, growing and evolving and facing the shadowy not-so-nice parts about ourselves that we’d rather not face
Seems simple but it’s not always easy.
Truth be told, we’ve been conditioned since we were kids to doubt ourselves at every turn. Particularly as girls.
And so it can be hard to access our innate self and trust that she’s enough.
Some examples of this include:
- Squashing down our true passions and talents in non-traditional subjects because they weren’t deemed as worthy as other subjects (maths, economics, law, accounting, etc.)
- Learning that we have to work hard and grind to get to success because otherwise, we’re lazy and not worthy of our achievements
- Overly focusing on our weaknesses and downplaying our strengths for fear of coming across as boastful, cocky and arrogant
- Prioritising linear logical thinking over heartfelt intuition and body-based decisions
The path to unlocking your purpose (and yes I’m purposely not saying “find”) is to unlearn the bullshit conditioning that we’ve learned.
I talk about the BS conditioning we’ve learned in my blog post about the Perfect Woman Imperative, which you can check out HERE.
In a nutshell: subconsciously we’ve been taught to be the “perfect woman” which causes us to play small and doubt our inherent trust in ourselves.
SO if you want to unlock your purpose within you….then part of the journey is to feel those micro thoughts, feelings and emotions cycles that you feel on any given day (like what I shared with you when I read that email).
Honouring how you REALLY are.
Listening to the TRUTH that’s ready to be revealed.
And TAKING ACTION from a clear and grounded place that’s true for you.
As you allow yourself to notice the micro thoughts, feelings, and emotions that you’re feeling and truly let yourself see them and feel them without judgment, that’s when you feel lighter and you inevitably flow through to the other side which is FLOW.
When you’re here it’s easier to allow yourself more pleasure and joy, which shifts your energy and allows creative solutions to unfold.
Which is exactly where the magic happens.
Albert Einstein famously said that:
“You can’t solve a problem at the same level of consciousness that created it.”
And so if you want to figure out the “how” and the “what” of your purpose i.e. what you’re going to do externally that’s aligned to where your heart is calling you and expresses who you are — you’re not going to get there if you’re stuck in your day-to-day stressed out, burned out, anxious and overwhelmed self (which by the way the Perfect Woman Imperative truly perpetuates).
You’ve got to be at a different level of consciousness.
So beautiful one, I invite you to come back to who you really are, get honest with how you’re feeling and let yourself to flow through to the other side. Because from here the next steps will unfold and you’ll be unraveling your purpose before you know it!
If you’re looking for some support to navigate your day to day and access your purpose, I’m opening up 1 spot this month in my 1:1 Soul Aligned Woman Program where we explore all of this. You apply for more information + schedule your call to explore it with me HERE.
But before you go, I’d love for you to leave me a comment and let me know:
- What’s the biggest challenge you’re facing in your life and career right now?
- What feeling-emotion-thought cycle do you find yourself rehashing most often?
I’d love to know and support you in the comments.
P.S. If you’re looking for some support to navigate your day to day and access your purpose, I’m opening up 1 spot this month in my 1:1 Soul Aligned Woman Program where we explore all of this. You apply for more information + schedule your call to explore it with me HERE.